Have You Ever............
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:52 pm
Have You Ever......
Spent the day prior to a trial practicing and rode like a champ and at the trial the next day, rode like a retarded chook with vertigo.
Spent the day prior to a trial practicing and rode like a retarded chook with vertigo and at the trial the next day, rode like a retarded chook with vertigo.
Spent Friday night at the pub with your mates, Saturday night at the pub with your mates and part of Sunday morning as well and at the trial rode pretty well considering...................
Got a flat on the way to a trial, got a flat at the trial, and just to add insult to injury, got a flat on the way home as well. All things considered a very good day......if you're the local tyre shop.
On the way to an event, hit a.......roo
cow
small tree
wheelie bin(jeez that was messy)
all of the above
On the way to an event hit a 1974 Valiant.......Valiant drives off with virtually nil damage............meanwhile your car is profusely leaking water, oil and its front end is totallly written off....
Had a sensational start to an event and then broken the nipple off your fuel tap.....and you didn't even crash.
Sheared a flywheel key just before you've clawed your way to the very top of an unbelievably steep climb that was nearly vertical. Your bike then proceeds to cartwheel spectacularly to the bottom. The only thing that stops it from completely breaking in two at the bottom of this mini Mt Everest is your body(In particular, your head)
And speaking of that @#$%& Valiant, while waiting for a tow......we were stuck miles from nowhere in dead flat country and nothing decent to ride over.
Severerly crashed your brains out just riding between the sections.....never mind the sections themselves you haven't even got that far yet.
Prepped your bike to the max, practiced like a demon, got to the event(State Title) with the best preparation of your life...............and left your helmet at home.
Run over an observer.
Run over an observer and pinned them against a tree.
Slept with your bike.....and your wife in another room.
Spent all day practicing a really tricky new technique that's causing you no end of problems only to have your kid trundle down on his $5 bike he bought at a clearing sale and casually do it perfectly first pop......while picking his nose at the same time.
Bought a new bike which immediately improves your riding only to find that the bloke who beat you for 1st place at the last trial has also bought a new bike.....Unfortunately at the nect trial you discover that the status quo has been maintained.
Choked.........you and Port Power have a lot in common.
Missed the birth of some of your children due to a trial being on.
Come back from rider briefing to find your oldest offspring has buggered off on his bicycle wearing YOUR helmet. Your other darling child has disapeared in the other direction with YOUR gloves. Meanwhile while your are retrieving your property, you get back to the pits to discover that all your 3/8th drive sockets are missing. You find them when your bike won't start and your 2 year tells you he inserted them in your muffler. Needless to say your first lap is a total disaster.
Got your camelbak hose caught in your handlebar controls.(You try and stay clean while stuck to your handlebars in a totally uncompromising position)
Ridden the A line cos it looked better than the C line.
Ridden the A line cos it looked better than the C line......and cleaned it!!!!!!!!
Ridden the A line and eaten dirt in a very BIG way(see bit about Mt Everest)
Started (and never finished) 'landscaping' the garden just so you have some new obstacles to ride over.
Being too tired to attend family functions but surprisingly getting 100% better overnight
and going to a trial the next morning.
The week after an event, spent more time at the doctors/physio/chiropractor than at work.
............Or not gone to work at all.
Considered yourself fortunate that you chose to marry a registered nurse............the next best thing to marrying the daughter of a trials bike importer.
Spent the day prior to a trial practicing and rode like a champ and at the trial the next day, rode like a retarded chook with vertigo.
Spent the day prior to a trial practicing and rode like a retarded chook with vertigo and at the trial the next day, rode like a retarded chook with vertigo.
Spent Friday night at the pub with your mates, Saturday night at the pub with your mates and part of Sunday morning as well and at the trial rode pretty well considering...................
Got a flat on the way to a trial, got a flat at the trial, and just to add insult to injury, got a flat on the way home as well. All things considered a very good day......if you're the local tyre shop.
On the way to an event, hit a.......roo
cow
small tree
wheelie bin(jeez that was messy)
all of the above
On the way to an event hit a 1974 Valiant.......Valiant drives off with virtually nil damage............meanwhile your car is profusely leaking water, oil and its front end is totallly written off....
Had a sensational start to an event and then broken the nipple off your fuel tap.....and you didn't even crash.
Sheared a flywheel key just before you've clawed your way to the very top of an unbelievably steep climb that was nearly vertical. Your bike then proceeds to cartwheel spectacularly to the bottom. The only thing that stops it from completely breaking in two at the bottom of this mini Mt Everest is your body(In particular, your head)
And speaking of that @#$%& Valiant, while waiting for a tow......we were stuck miles from nowhere in dead flat country and nothing decent to ride over.
Severerly crashed your brains out just riding between the sections.....never mind the sections themselves you haven't even got that far yet.
Prepped your bike to the max, practiced like a demon, got to the event(State Title) with the best preparation of your life...............and left your helmet at home.
Run over an observer.
Run over an observer and pinned them against a tree.
Slept with your bike.....and your wife in another room.
Spent all day practicing a really tricky new technique that's causing you no end of problems only to have your kid trundle down on his $5 bike he bought at a clearing sale and casually do it perfectly first pop......while picking his nose at the same time.
Bought a new bike which immediately improves your riding only to find that the bloke who beat you for 1st place at the last trial has also bought a new bike.....Unfortunately at the nect trial you discover that the status quo has been maintained.
Choked.........you and Port Power have a lot in common.
Missed the birth of some of your children due to a trial being on.
Come back from rider briefing to find your oldest offspring has buggered off on his bicycle wearing YOUR helmet. Your other darling child has disapeared in the other direction with YOUR gloves. Meanwhile while your are retrieving your property, you get back to the pits to discover that all your 3/8th drive sockets are missing. You find them when your bike won't start and your 2 year tells you he inserted them in your muffler. Needless to say your first lap is a total disaster.
Got your camelbak hose caught in your handlebar controls.(You try and stay clean while stuck to your handlebars in a totally uncompromising position)
Ridden the A line cos it looked better than the C line.
Ridden the A line cos it looked better than the C line......and cleaned it!!!!!!!!
Ridden the A line and eaten dirt in a very BIG way(see bit about Mt Everest)
Started (and never finished) 'landscaping' the garden just so you have some new obstacles to ride over.
Being too tired to attend family functions but surprisingly getting 100% better overnight
and going to a trial the next morning.
The week after an event, spent more time at the doctors/physio/chiropractor than at work.
............Or not gone to work at all.
Considered yourself fortunate that you chose to marry a registered nurse............the next best thing to marrying the daughter of a trials bike importer.
Funniest thing i've read in ages.
It's great when, despite all adversity, we can still laugh at ourselves. I think it keeps us sane! 
